What Is Hidden

What Is Hidden

Alfred was seven years old when he realized the depth of his Mother’s Love.  Sandy was his best friend since the playground.  There was a moment that no child should have try to decipher at such a young age; but such was my life.  The end is near for her and she desperately wants to draw me in.  It was much too late for that.  There was no forgiveness left in my heart for her.  She had committed too many ultimate transgressions, but the last one; well, there was no coming back from that.  The touch of her hand made my skin crawl and I pulled back.  Hoping no one noticed, I excused myself.  The air had become stifling and I could no longer share space with her as she continued to draw breath. 

A Time before me….

He was suckered in again; My Father.  I can’t even remember his face now, but I remember this moment.  “I saw you talking to that woman.  If you so much as look her way again, you will regret it.”  “Woman what are you talking about, I didn’t pay that woman no attention, fix my plate Lonnie and don’t forget my hot sauce.  You know you been crazy since the day we met.  Thank the lucky stars you can cook.”  Those were the last words I can remember my Father speaking.  If he said anything else, it has escaped what I recall.  At the time I didn’t quite understand, but my Mother’s face became distorted to me and I almost didn’t recognize her as I was picking at my peas.  “Eat your vegetables Alfred, they’re good for you,” she said; and my Mothers face was almost normal again.

I woke up the next morning and my Father had passed away quietly in his sleep.  I gradually over the years learned that hid died violently, not quietly in his sleep.  I used the wrong adverb.  I was a kid; what did I know?  My mother made the phone calls and welcomed visitors as such was the custom when someone passed away.  People would slowly flock to your house carrying food that you would never eat and lots of liquor.  Hugging you un-expectantly and asking are you ok.  Duh, no I was not ok!  “My Father just died,” are the words that I wanted to scream.  No chance of showing my emotions then, I had gotten yelled at by My Mother when I wouldn’t stop crying and she flashed me a look like she gave my Father the night before he died.  I thought it best to wait until I could climb into my tree house away from her and cry for him.